In June I created a HexaSexual profile on OKCupid:
42 • Toronto, Ontario, CA • Genderqueer
I am a survivor of the Uterine Apocalypse, when menstrual clots came out hexagonal, and babies were born hexa-sexual.
I was assigned the Suanovine gender because my genitalia are incorporated into my ears. But to be honest my gender expression is rather fluid, as I like to experiment with the other five genders.
What I’m doing with my life
Looking for freedom-loving people to try out the joys of hexamoury.
I’m really good at
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Six Feet Under
SSATBB choral music
Honey in the comb
The six things I could never do without
30/60/90 drafting triangle
Tentacles in my ears
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Liberating the non-hexa-sexual world from the constraints of the gender binary.
On a typical Friday night I am
Looking for a private spot in Robarts Library, for hexa-sexy times
You should message me if
You are ready to go on geometrical adventures!
This profile has averaged 120 visitors per week, likely because HexaSexual is open to dating people of every gender and orientation, and it shows up in “searches for women”. (I tried switching to searches for men, and got much less traffic.)
I’ve received 26 messages from straight cis men who likely did not read the Hexasexual profile closely. A typical example:
“We’ll hello there. How are u tonight”
But some were more presumptious:
“Thank you for your interest. Please deposit 50 cents to continue.”
“Hello how are you? What do you like more kissing or cuddling?”
“Dear Hexa, Please read my profile and if interested, I will send you my photos for your consideration and approval.”
“Hello very sexy lady. Like you profile and love for the most beautiful thing. Sex . Want to meet”
“I deeply regret that it is my unfortunate duty to bring it to your attention that you are above and beyond our maximum standards for looks. You are clearly a 9/10 and here on OKC we only allow 6/10 maximum. Your account will be CLOSED unless you reply to this message with your name, phone number, your favorite flower, how many Cheetos you can fit in your mouth at once (just curious) and if you prefer Chinese or Italian cuisine. This is very serious business and I would advise you not to take my message lightly or you might anger my boss Poseidon, the lord of the seas.”
This response had me hopeful at first:
“you just turned me on in a way I never knew possible”
But it came from a suburban man, very serious about Christianity, photographed next to his sports-car. Based on stereotypes, I’m guessing he’s just another desperate guy, automatically sending out his pick-up line to every woman.
There were 9 cis men who were paying more attention:
” ‘Tis a very hexagonal profile – the most references to hexa- I may have ever seen! Let the geometrical games begin… ”
“What an intriguing profile! So creative!”
“I initially thought this was a picture of Scott Library at York. Haven’t been to either of these in years.”
“Try the 12 floor of Robarts!”
“Hi there, You seem like a lot of fun. You’re the only person I have ever seen that makes geometry sound sexy. Kudos to you ”
“Should I start looking for my protractor? I’m sure it’s in a box in the basement.”
“How about a tetra-going on-penta?”
“? do you like men?”
The responses from people under the trans umbrella were:
“Now THAT is a unique profile! Do you get much feedback on it? Are you interested in any of it?”
“Heya! Love your name!”
The only response from a cis woman was:
“Weirdest. Profile. Ever.”
She then wrote to my regular OKCupid profile, which has a similar photo:
“And how many profiles does one person need LOL?”
This hostility came from a bi-curious woman looking to add another woman to her discreet affair with a man.
As HexaSexual, I did start a few conversations with queer women. One kindly said:
“As Czar of the Universe, I hereby abolish genders.”
With another woman, I had a nice long conversation about sexual freedom and baking cakes. We even went on a date!